Well, just as we all thought, Mom was a no-show to O's 1st Birthday party yesterday. I spent the entire car ride to work trying to decide if I am mad at her or not. Seems that more than anything, it just hurts my feelings, even though I didn't really expect her to show up.
My cell phone rings while I am at work - the caller ID says "G-Cell". I figure it is mom and I'm not in the mood for her excuses. She can leave them on the voicemail. I go ahead and listen to it once my phone beeps. It is actually G - he is calling to let me know that Mom has been in a serious car accident, but she is okay. He tells me that she just woke up and has been out since Saturday when it happened. I immediately dial his phone back and he answers. He didn't really say much, but gave the phone to Mom.
I ask if she is Okay and what happened. She says she really isn't sure. She either tapped her brakes wrong or her tire blew out. Either way, she started spinning out on the highway and ended up hitting a Semi. Scary, scary!!
She then starts crying and says a couple times "I am so sorry that I missed the Birthday Party". I told her "That is ok, I am just glad you are okay and you didn't miss it for some other reason". She says "I have to go, I don't feel well" and just hangs up.
I bawled. I don't usually let her get to me, but this time it did! I feel so twisted for her! I know she feels terrible deep down for her actions, yet I also know that she probably would have missed it for something else had she not been in an accident (I am really trying to not kid myself) She doesn't take the blame for her actions - in this case it was the brakes or the tire and she claims she was sober. So, how can I be mad at someone who already feels bad enough?? Ugh, don't I deserve to be mad?