Monday, August 31, 2009

What's New

About a month ago, G called and had this "grand idea" to do an intervention for Mom. He said he was really worried and thought if the whole family go together, it would work. He had already called my Aunt and she wasn't available for about a month (if it doesn't work for her, it doesn't work....) He wanted to get mine and my sister's opinions. I told him I would see what I could do and hung up.

I felt so bad - he was actually reaching out for help (Mr. I Can Take Care Of Everything All By Myself), but I didn't want to help. I thought - She already knows why we have a bad relationship, do I really have to tell her again? Then I thought some more and realized that I probably have never actually "told" her - it just sort of happened and that was that. I talked to A about it, she agreed then cried. She felt horrible too. She has never expressed to Mom why she stays away either. We just figure Mom knows. She does, but does that mean we shouldn't say it? Just like Mom's Dad never said "I love you" - you were just supposed to know. Is that the same thing?

I prayed and prayed, and by the time I got the courage to call Mom - she blew me off as usual. Came to the phone - put on her fake smile - and pretended everything was just fine. She was working on herself and that was all she would really say. I remembered once again, why I don't bother most of the time. But, sometimes you just feel like "What if?" so you try again......

Two weeks ago, G called. He told me that Mom was in the hospital again and not doing well. He had just gotten back from visiting her. She had already been there two days (well she started at a different hospital and was transferred) and they weren't sure what it was yet. She was scheduled for a test Tues am. He said she was all doped up on the pain meds and had no clue where she was or why or what was up. She gave G a hard time for not meeting her, myself, and my sister down at the pool. She was convinced we were on a family vacation and were at the hotel.

The next day I received a call from the Barber (that I would have ignored, had I known who it was....) - he was worried about Mom, she had a Parole meeting the week before and he hadn't see her since. He thought she had been arrested again. I couldn't lie and told him she was in the hospital, not jail. It didn't take long for him to find out which hospital....

He called me back to tell me her test had been moved to a later time. I waited until the afternoon to call her. She answered and was so happy to hear from me. She said they took her for the test and she freaked out on them. She told them she wasn't the patient. She thought she was there with me and my younger DS for him to get tests. They had to show her the wristband and postpone the procedure. She told me they lightened the pain meds and she was coming around. She was so embarrassed that happened. That evening G called, he had been at the hospital, saw the Barber's phone # on the table and stormed out. He wanted to know how he found her. I said "I told him - I couldn't lie to him, just like I can't lie to you..."

The next day the procedure was performed and they found sludge in her bile duct (gallbladder is already gone). I went up to the hospital that evening to visit. She looked really bad. She was so puffy I don't think she could bend her fingers. The Barber was there when I walked in. I asked about her being puffy and she said something about all the fluids they were pumping her with. The Barber said "Oh no, that's from the Boozin' Don't let her fool you, she was puffy before coming to the hospital." He left shortly after I showed up. When the night nurse came in, she looked at Mom's chart and said "Oh they changed your last name today." Mom laughed and just said "Yes, they did." I know that means G threw a fit and told those nurses to take his name off the records. I kept quiet.

I spoke with her Thursday and she was feeling better and wanted to go home. On Friday, my phone died so I couldn't call her until the evening. The hospital phone rang and rang - she was released and I didn't know who she went with - G or the Barber. I didn't call either one.

On Sunday, when we got home from church, there was a box of Mom's stuff on my porch with a message on my machine from G telling me he left it. I now knew where she was this time. She left me a message that evening telling me the Barber had her in the Country so she couldn't get into trouble. Wanted to know if I would take her license and check from G over to the Barber shop. I didn't.