Finally heard from Mom this week...
Tuesday was her Birthday. I called G's and left a message "Hi, this is A. Don't know if Mom is there, but if so "Happy Birthday". Also, the family get-together has been moved to Sunday if you are around."
Friday I missed a call from G. Saturday she called again - this time leaving a voicemail. I wasn't sure if it was her or G and I wasn't about to call back and get stuck talking to him, so I was glad she left the voicemail. I went out shopping and when I got home there was also a message on our home machine.
I called her back and she wanted to know if we would pick her up for church. I decided to question her "Where have you been?" - Her response "What do you mean? I have been here, just doing my usual. I have a full belly and I am safe". I said "G said you went to a rehab." She claimed insurance would only cover outpatient and it is in a neighborhood she doesn't need to be in so she didn't go. Then she told me that she ran into a girlfriend and G got all twisted about it. That he turned around what the friend said to him and lied to Mom and that he is now taping all phone conversations at the house so she better not say anymore. At this point, I dropped it (not getting anywhere....)
Then I asked if she was coming to the Birthday Get-together. "Of course.", she says. Like I didn't have reason to ask that!! She hasn't shown up to a function for a long time now - of course I have ask. Especially since the baby fit she threw last time!
She went to church with us yesterday and showed up with G for the family get-together. Unbelievable!
My DH was upset about it for once. (Or at least he finally said something). He said "It really just pisses me off that your Mom thinks she can do whatever she wants and then just waltz back like nothing happened! Days like today just reinforced it for her."
He is right! It pisses me off too!! I just don't know how to handle it. I had given up questioning her and this time I tried again. It got me nowhere as usual. If she called and invited us for dinner, I would most likely decline, but how do I deny someone to go to church. She knows that too. I don't mind her going with us, when she is sober and so far she knows not to come around when she is not. (Hence not hearing from her for the past few weeks!)
My boys know her as the grandma from the hospital and church. Not really anything more than that. My 3yr old enjoyed having someone in the back seat to listen to his millions of stories, but other than that.....
Well, I will continue with "One Day at a Time" because that is all I can do.
On a side note - Kids say the darndest things:
My Mom has really bad teeth and since her heavy drug use, she is losing a lot of them and they are cracked, etc. My 3yr old said "Grandma, what's wrong with your teeth? Yuck!"
At least it gave us to opportunity to remind him about good teeth brushing habits!