Christmas Eve -
We all start arriving and my cousins are getting dinner on the table. No Mom. I tried to call her at Gs around 4:30, no answer. I left a voicemail. I mention to my Aunt, "I wonder where Mom is? It doesn't seem like she is going to show up."
My Aunt appears shocked and says "She said she was coming." My Aunt then tells me that Mom called her this afternoon and "let her have it" Apparantly, Mom told her she wasn't going to allow the family to treat her that way and just stand back. She wanted her sister to know that she was upset to not be invited for Christmas. She did the whole act - crying, yelling, etc. but swore she would be there.
Mom didn't show. Grandma made comments about how we don't get "personal invitations" around here. Aunt K just doesn't understand, or chooses not to. Most times I think it is the latter.
That sucked this was the first Christmas w/o Mom. She may have been sleeping on the couch years past, but she was there - My sister and I made the best of it, smiled and opened the gifts. Then we came home and she and my DH helped me get ready for the morning for my boy's. We bit the cookies, drank the milk, and put out the presents from Santa. That was soo much FUN! The joy of little kids - I love it!!!! I have a 3 & 1 yr old. So, this year was the first year for my older one to understand what was going on! Makes it all worth it - those kids do.
I just can't help but feel sadness that my Mom doesn't participate in it. Wow is she missing out. It is definately her loss!
Anyway - I called her Christmas morning just to say "Merry Christmas" (and to see if she would even answer) She tried to play it off and said "In all my 51 yrs, I have never missed a Christmas until now. It was so unorganized I didn't even know what time or where to be - next time I will plan it. But I will be there for New Years." Then she wanted us to come over with Gs kids and have breakfast and open presents. Ha Ha - I don't think so! I said "Sorry, we are having our family Christmas with the boys right now. Then my dad is coming over to see the boys. Then we are leaving for the inlaws out of town" She had her chance last night. It felt good to say that and she understood.....
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i'm just so sorry you and your sister had to go through this for all these years. Please, limit your children's exposure to her (I know, you do NOT need to be told that).
It's nice to read about it from another perspective. Makes my position and job seem a little more um, rational?
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