G just called. Let me know that Mom called him this morning to come pick her up from the City. She crack-leased the Barber's truck and they wrecked it. Took out two innocent cars in the process. She actually had G drop her off at the Barber's camper. G said he told her we were worried and she should call, but I haven't heard from her today. G acted surprised - I am not.
Until about a year ago, I didn't even know you could "crack-lease" your car - Now I know you don't get them back. Mom has gone through 4 of her own vehicles that I know about and now the Barber's too. What a shame!
I am sure this has been said many times, but if only these addicts could use their smart/manipulative maneuvers in a positive way - I bet they would be very successful!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Will it be jail again?
G called me this afternoon. "It is imperative that you call me. Your mom is okay, as far as I know, but we have to help find her tonight. Call me"
Ugghhh....So, I prepare myself and call him back. He says the Barber called him to see if Mom was there. He told G that if she wasn't back tonight w/ his truck, he is calling to report it stolen in the morning and will follow through with pressing charges. G says that will violate her probation and add charges for grand larceny. He doesn't want her to go to prison. I said "I hope the Barber does press charges. What the fuck is she thinking? Normal people don't steal cars, especially from their so called boyfriends." That phone call sucked - my boys were in the backseat of the car waiting to go in Kmart for Super Doubles (okay so I was waiting for the Super Doubles, my boys just wanted out of the car) and I was egging Z on to cry in the background so I could get off the phone.
Anyway.... I am 99% sure G is now driving around the city looking for Mom so she doesn't get in trouble. I told him he shouldn't do that and he didn't respond to that. Poor guy - she will just use him again and again until he finally calls it quits. He knows that, but still continues to "help" her.
My sister and I were talking earlier. It just doesn't make sense that we are who we are today. My sister thinks she should be pregnant and barefoot in a trailer park with 4 kids yelling at the neighbors with a cigarrette in her mouth. But she isn't. She is getting ready for her Senior year of college earning her degree in teaching and doing well. I shouldn't be where I am either, according to statistics -I have a Masters degree in accounting, the World's Best Husband, two beautiful boys, and a great job. If you met our mother today, you wouldn't know we belonged to her.
It must have to do with the timing of her episodes. I remember turmoil in my life until about 1st or 2nd grade. I lived with my grandparents for awhile and I remember fighting. The thing is, I was young enough to not really remember what my life was "actually" like. I only hear about it from my grandmas. Mom was in a sober period of her life after that. Or at least to my knowlege, she was sober. If she wasn't, she was functioning. She had to - a single mom supporting me. Then she married my sister's dad. He was an alcoholic and Mom maintained the home. When A was about 2, he sobered up, but they still divorced. Mom went to nursing school and raised A and I on her own. She bought a house and we moved. When I was in high school, she started her own business. We took a few elderly people into our home and she cared for them 24/7. She became rather well-known for Diabetes care among the social workers and even had a waiting list. This is when G came into the picture. Right after I left for college, they purchased a residential care facility that had capacity for 20 residents. I think this was a huge factor in her downfall. She ended up with several mental health patients and began stealing their medications. I don't know if the state ever officially caught her, but they were on to her. She sold the place and it has been downhill ever since. A calls it "When Mom started sleeping on the couch ALL the time"
So, I think I was just too young and by the time I was more aware of my surroundings, Mom was great. And A had a great Mom until she was in Jr. High. At that point, A was old enough to know that wasn't "just how life is". No matter, the reason, we are thankful to God we are okay so far!
Ugghhh....So, I prepare myself and call him back. He says the Barber called him to see if Mom was there. He told G that if she wasn't back tonight w/ his truck, he is calling to report it stolen in the morning and will follow through with pressing charges. G says that will violate her probation and add charges for grand larceny. He doesn't want her to go to prison. I said "I hope the Barber does press charges. What the fuck is she thinking? Normal people don't steal cars, especially from their so called boyfriends." That phone call sucked - my boys were in the backseat of the car waiting to go in Kmart for Super Doubles (okay so I was waiting for the Super Doubles, my boys just wanted out of the car) and I was egging Z on to cry in the background so I could get off the phone.
Anyway.... I am 99% sure G is now driving around the city looking for Mom so she doesn't get in trouble. I told him he shouldn't do that and he didn't respond to that. Poor guy - she will just use him again and again until he finally calls it quits. He knows that, but still continues to "help" her.
My sister and I were talking earlier. It just doesn't make sense that we are who we are today. My sister thinks she should be pregnant and barefoot in a trailer park with 4 kids yelling at the neighbors with a cigarrette in her mouth. But she isn't. She is getting ready for her Senior year of college earning her degree in teaching and doing well. I shouldn't be where I am either, according to statistics -I have a Masters degree in accounting, the World's Best Husband, two beautiful boys, and a great job. If you met our mother today, you wouldn't know we belonged to her.
It must have to do with the timing of her episodes. I remember turmoil in my life until about 1st or 2nd grade. I lived with my grandparents for awhile and I remember fighting. The thing is, I was young enough to not really remember what my life was "actually" like. I only hear about it from my grandmas. Mom was in a sober period of her life after that. Or at least to my knowlege, she was sober. If she wasn't, she was functioning. She had to - a single mom supporting me. Then she married my sister's dad. He was an alcoholic and Mom maintained the home. When A was about 2, he sobered up, but they still divorced. Mom went to nursing school and raised A and I on her own. She bought a house and we moved. When I was in high school, she started her own business. We took a few elderly people into our home and she cared for them 24/7. She became rather well-known for Diabetes care among the social workers and even had a waiting list. This is when G came into the picture. Right after I left for college, they purchased a residential care facility that had capacity for 20 residents. I think this was a huge factor in her downfall. She ended up with several mental health patients and began stealing their medications. I don't know if the state ever officially caught her, but they were on to her. She sold the place and it has been downhill ever since. A calls it "When Mom started sleeping on the couch ALL the time"
So, I think I was just too young and by the time I was more aware of my surroundings, Mom was great. And A had a great Mom until she was in Jr. High. At that point, A was old enough to know that wasn't "just how life is". No matter, the reason, we are thankful to God we are okay so far!
Update
Wow - it has really been a long time since I have posted. That is actually a good thing. It has been really quiet around here with Mom until recently.....
That shot/pill to make people stop drinking really is a "Miracle Drug" - but it's too damn expensive for the people that need it. And unfortunately, Mom was just using that and not working on her behavorial side. But, it worked while it lasted!
A few weeks ago, Mom moved out of G's again. She is living with the Barber in a camper on the side of the Hwy. (Yes, I said a camper!) She just goes back and forth between the two men.... G made two drop-ins to bring over Mom's stuff and bitch about her leaving. Haven't heard from him since then.
I bought food for Mom through the Angel Food Ministries (actually, G paid me back) I brought it over to her on Sunday after church (6/28). It was the first time I saw the trailer. Two days later, she called me and wanted me to come over and see where she is living. I said "I was just there. Don't you remember?" Her response was "When? I don't remember." When I told her I dropped food off to her, and asked how she thought she got the food, she said "Oh, you were here Sunday. That food was great." She seemed out-of-it when I saw her, but I didn't know why, now I know she was "out of it".
Mom got a cell phone with prepaid minutes, but that only lasted a week. She called us girls until her minutes ran out. One of the family dogs was sick last week and Mom just left town with the Barber and had A go by and check on the deathly ill dog - it was horrible. On Monday, when she got back to town, A drove over to check on the dog and Mom. Mom was on her way walking towards the Barber Shop. A picked her up and Mom was actually going to the liquor store next to the BarberShop. A said she just bought 1 beer and said "Forgive me, my dog is dying. I need a beer." A told her she didn't need any excuses, it is what is is and I am going home.
I just received a phonecall from the Barber cell phone. Figured it was Mom. Nope, it was the Barber looking for Mom. She has been gone for 2 days with his truck. Said she left during the night when he was asleep. He has no vehicle and is walking to and from the BarberShop to work. He didn't say, but I am sure she took his money too. Hopefully, we hear something soon....
That shot/pill to make people stop drinking really is a "Miracle Drug" - but it's too damn expensive for the people that need it. And unfortunately, Mom was just using that and not working on her behavorial side. But, it worked while it lasted!
A few weeks ago, Mom moved out of G's again. She is living with the Barber in a camper on the side of the Hwy. (Yes, I said a camper!) She just goes back and forth between the two men.... G made two drop-ins to bring over Mom's stuff and bitch about her leaving. Haven't heard from him since then.
I bought food for Mom through the Angel Food Ministries (actually, G paid me back) I brought it over to her on Sunday after church (6/28). It was the first time I saw the trailer. Two days later, she called me and wanted me to come over and see where she is living. I said "I was just there. Don't you remember?" Her response was "When? I don't remember." When I told her I dropped food off to her, and asked how she thought she got the food, she said "Oh, you were here Sunday. That food was great." She seemed out-of-it when I saw her, but I didn't know why, now I know she was "out of it".
Mom got a cell phone with prepaid minutes, but that only lasted a week. She called us girls until her minutes ran out. One of the family dogs was sick last week and Mom just left town with the Barber and had A go by and check on the deathly ill dog - it was horrible. On Monday, when she got back to town, A drove over to check on the dog and Mom. Mom was on her way walking towards the Barber Shop. A picked her up and Mom was actually going to the liquor store next to the BarberShop. A said she just bought 1 beer and said "Forgive me, my dog is dying. I need a beer." A told her she didn't need any excuses, it is what is is and I am going home.
I just received a phonecall from the Barber cell phone. Figured it was Mom. Nope, it was the Barber looking for Mom. She has been gone for 2 days with his truck. Said she left during the night when he was asleep. He has no vehicle and is walking to and from the BarberShop to work. He didn't say, but I am sure she took his money too. Hopefully, we hear something soon....
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I knew this time would come again.....
Last week, Mom called and asked if I would pick her up for church. I told her that we were picking up Grandma and I would have to make sure we could take Grandmas van for the space. She said "Nevermind. I will drive myself. See you there tomorrow morning."
Needless to say, she didn't show. But, we had a message on our machine "Sorry I didn't make it to church, my stomach is hurting. We would like to bring Easter baskets to the boys tomorrow. Call me." I didn't.
Her and G showed up last Monday to bring by the Easter baskets and visit. Mom was not sober. G had to hold her arm so she could walk up our driveway without wobbling. She was repeating herself over and over. She did have fun pushing Z's new play lawnmower around the room and Z thought it was funny too. I couldn't quite place what was wrong with her until our visit was almost over. (She ALWAYS blames it on her meds being mixed up again....) I could definitely smell the alcohol on her. My DH said he thought maybe she was on painkillers. Either way, it was something. She was complaining about her stomach hurting and how she was going to make the appt. to get her gallbladder removed. She said she would call if she went to the hospital. No call all last week.
Then Saturday, she calls again asking for a ride to church. I told her we would be there at 9:45 to get her. We picked her up, then Grandma, and the whole crew went to church Sunday. When she got into our car, she "reeked" of perfume - I had to roll the window down so I didn't drown in it. She also had a piece of gum. It wasn't until part way into the service that I smelled it again. I was sick to my stomach! I had to remind myself where I was and why and worry about her later.
When we picked her up, she mentioned that she just got home from the hospital. I said "I thought you were going to call if you went to the hospital" "Are you feeling better, what did they say?" Then I threw in "Stop Drinking??" She said "No they didn't say that, but it is a problem again. My shot is wearing off and it is too much $ to get again. Not sure what I will do."
I knew this time would come again. Now I have to figure out the best way to let her know that she wasn't fooling us. I have to let her know (again) that she is not welcome when she is not sober. And, what hurts the most - I have to tell her that she cannot come to church with us unless she is sober. She loves the service, (though I can't say she takes the advice well), and has already in a few weeks made a few "friends" there. She makes her own choices and I make mine. I wish it wasn't so difficult though!
After church, Grandma wanted to go out for lunch, but Mom insisted on being brought back home first. I am quite sure she was afraid G would yell at her. That is also sad - the only person that will put up with her and take care of her is the same one causing her to use by his controlling ways. He sucks..... He just keeps her in his vicious cycle. He actually bribes her with her addictions sometimes - then tells us he doesn't enable.
I asked Grandma if she noticed anything after we dropped Mom off. She just noticed the smell. Neither one of us would have ever known if we didn't smell it. She didn't act funny or anything. I finally had a chance to talk to Grandma a little since we were stuck together in the car. She said she just feels so guilty that her daughter is this way. She said "I never knew and I just don't know how I didn't know all this time." I just said "Grandma, it is not your fault. And I didn't know either." Oh this addiction crap sucks!
Needless to say, she didn't show. But, we had a message on our machine "Sorry I didn't make it to church, my stomach is hurting. We would like to bring Easter baskets to the boys tomorrow. Call me." I didn't.
Her and G showed up last Monday to bring by the Easter baskets and visit. Mom was not sober. G had to hold her arm so she could walk up our driveway without wobbling. She was repeating herself over and over. She did have fun pushing Z's new play lawnmower around the room and Z thought it was funny too. I couldn't quite place what was wrong with her until our visit was almost over. (She ALWAYS blames it on her meds being mixed up again....) I could definitely smell the alcohol on her. My DH said he thought maybe she was on painkillers. Either way, it was something. She was complaining about her stomach hurting and how she was going to make the appt. to get her gallbladder removed. She said she would call if she went to the hospital. No call all last week.
Then Saturday, she calls again asking for a ride to church. I told her we would be there at 9:45 to get her. We picked her up, then Grandma, and the whole crew went to church Sunday. When she got into our car, she "reeked" of perfume - I had to roll the window down so I didn't drown in it. She also had a piece of gum. It wasn't until part way into the service that I smelled it again. I was sick to my stomach! I had to remind myself where I was and why and worry about her later.
When we picked her up, she mentioned that she just got home from the hospital. I said "I thought you were going to call if you went to the hospital" "Are you feeling better, what did they say?" Then I threw in "Stop Drinking??" She said "No they didn't say that, but it is a problem again. My shot is wearing off and it is too much $ to get again. Not sure what I will do."
I knew this time would come again. Now I have to figure out the best way to let her know that she wasn't fooling us. I have to let her know (again) that she is not welcome when she is not sober. And, what hurts the most - I have to tell her that she cannot come to church with us unless she is sober. She loves the service, (though I can't say she takes the advice well), and has already in a few weeks made a few "friends" there. She makes her own choices and I make mine. I wish it wasn't so difficult though!
After church, Grandma wanted to go out for lunch, but Mom insisted on being brought back home first. I am quite sure she was afraid G would yell at her. That is also sad - the only person that will put up with her and take care of her is the same one causing her to use by his controlling ways. He sucks..... He just keeps her in his vicious cycle. He actually bribes her with her addictions sometimes - then tells us he doesn't enable.
I asked Grandma if she noticed anything after we dropped Mom off. She just noticed the smell. Neither one of us would have ever known if we didn't smell it. She didn't act funny or anything. I finally had a chance to talk to Grandma a little since we were stuck together in the car. She said she just feels so guilty that her daughter is this way. She said "I never knew and I just don't know how I didn't know all this time." I just said "Grandma, it is not your fault. And I didn't know either." Oh this addiction crap sucks!
Monday, April 6, 2009
She's Back
Finally heard from Mom this week...
Tuesday was her Birthday. I called G's and left a message "Hi, this is A. Don't know if Mom is there, but if so "Happy Birthday". Also, the family get-together has been moved to Sunday if you are around."
Friday I missed a call from G. Saturday she called again - this time leaving a voicemail. I wasn't sure if it was her or G and I wasn't about to call back and get stuck talking to him, so I was glad she left the voicemail. I went out shopping and when I got home there was also a message on our home machine.
I called her back and she wanted to know if we would pick her up for church. I decided to question her "Where have you been?" - Her response "What do you mean? I have been here, just doing my usual. I have a full belly and I am safe". I said "G said you went to a rehab." She claimed insurance would only cover outpatient and it is in a neighborhood she doesn't need to be in so she didn't go. Then she told me that she ran into a girlfriend and G got all twisted about it. That he turned around what the friend said to him and lied to Mom and that he is now taping all phone conversations at the house so she better not say anymore. At this point, I dropped it (not getting anywhere....)
Then I asked if she was coming to the Birthday Get-together. "Of course.", she says. Like I didn't have reason to ask that!! She hasn't shown up to a function for a long time now - of course I have ask. Especially since the baby fit she threw last time!
She went to church with us yesterday and showed up with G for the family get-together. Unbelievable!
My DH was upset about it for once. (Or at least he finally said something). He said "It really just pisses me off that your Mom thinks she can do whatever she wants and then just waltz back like nothing happened! Days like today just reinforced it for her."
He is right! It pisses me off too!! I just don't know how to handle it. I had given up questioning her and this time I tried again. It got me nowhere as usual. If she called and invited us for dinner, I would most likely decline, but how do I deny someone to go to church. She knows that too. I don't mind her going with us, when she is sober and so far she knows not to come around when she is not. (Hence not hearing from her for the past few weeks!)
My boys know her as the grandma from the hospital and church. Not really anything more than that. My 3yr old enjoyed having someone in the back seat to listen to his millions of stories, but other than that.....
Well, I will continue with "One Day at a Time" because that is all I can do.
On a side note - Kids say the darndest things:
My Mom has really bad teeth and since her heavy drug use, she is losing a lot of them and they are cracked, etc. My 3yr old said "Grandma, what's wrong with your teeth? Yuck!"
At least it gave us to opportunity to remind him about good teeth brushing habits!
Tuesday was her Birthday. I called G's and left a message "Hi, this is A. Don't know if Mom is there, but if so "Happy Birthday". Also, the family get-together has been moved to Sunday if you are around."
Friday I missed a call from G. Saturday she called again - this time leaving a voicemail. I wasn't sure if it was her or G and I wasn't about to call back and get stuck talking to him, so I was glad she left the voicemail. I went out shopping and when I got home there was also a message on our home machine.
I called her back and she wanted to know if we would pick her up for church. I decided to question her "Where have you been?" - Her response "What do you mean? I have been here, just doing my usual. I have a full belly and I am safe". I said "G said you went to a rehab." She claimed insurance would only cover outpatient and it is in a neighborhood she doesn't need to be in so she didn't go. Then she told me that she ran into a girlfriend and G got all twisted about it. That he turned around what the friend said to him and lied to Mom and that he is now taping all phone conversations at the house so she better not say anymore. At this point, I dropped it (not getting anywhere....)
Then I asked if she was coming to the Birthday Get-together. "Of course.", she says. Like I didn't have reason to ask that!! She hasn't shown up to a function for a long time now - of course I have ask. Especially since the baby fit she threw last time!
She went to church with us yesterday and showed up with G for the family get-together. Unbelievable!
My DH was upset about it for once. (Or at least he finally said something). He said "It really just pisses me off that your Mom thinks she can do whatever she wants and then just waltz back like nothing happened! Days like today just reinforced it for her."
He is right! It pisses me off too!! I just don't know how to handle it. I had given up questioning her and this time I tried again. It got me nowhere as usual. If she called and invited us for dinner, I would most likely decline, but how do I deny someone to go to church. She knows that too. I don't mind her going with us, when she is sober and so far she knows not to come around when she is not. (Hence not hearing from her for the past few weeks!)
My boys know her as the grandma from the hospital and church. Not really anything more than that. My 3yr old enjoyed having someone in the back seat to listen to his millions of stories, but other than that.....
Well, I will continue with "One Day at a Time" because that is all I can do.
On a side note - Kids say the darndest things:
My Mom has really bad teeth and since her heavy drug use, she is losing a lot of them and they are cracked, etc. My 3yr old said "Grandma, what's wrong with your teeth? Yuck!"
At least it gave us to opportunity to remind him about good teeth brushing habits!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Forgiveness
We just finished a powerful sermon series at Church and one of the weeks was on forgiveness.
I don't consider myself one to have issues with this topic except for one event that really changed my opinion of my Mom.
About 3 1/2 yrs ago, my Mom was having problems with her depression/anxiety and was not holding down a job. She was filing for disability and I thought it would help her out to have her babysit our son. It was great for us too, financially and the location. That was until a day I will never forget.
I was at work when my cell phone rang and it said Momcell. I answered it and a police officer introduced himself. He stated that he had just arrested my mother for purchasing crack and had my son in the backseat of his vehicle. I would need to come get him ASAP. My baby wasn't even 3 mths old! I melted down and then called my DH and my Dad. My Dad got to the location before I did. The poor DEA officer was so concerned my DS would wake up and he didn't know what to do. When I got there, he told me that my Mom had been arrested the week before for the same thing and why would I leave my son with her. He said next time I would be arrested for child endangerment. I said "Don't worry, there won't be a next time." And there hasn't been since that day.
I had no idea. I blamed my Mom's behavior on her illness. So did she. I didn't realize she was up all hours doing crack. I knew she was arrested the week before, but I was told it was b/c her plates were expired (this was true) and she had a warrant for a bad check (also true) - they failed to tell me the origin of the arrest. I didn't have any reason to think otherwise. I mean seriously, I don't even know a thing about crack - except that it really messes people up! And at that time, I didn't know that G was a liar too.
The reason that I can't get past this is because Mom doesn't acknowledge it. She had the nerve to say to ds shortly after it happened "I don't understand what the deal is. We just went for a car ride." A 9am crack run, I think is what she meant to say. (And why do you say that to an infant - why not to me??) She also said, "The officer was just trying to scare you. You won't get arrested for letting me watch the baby." To this day - she hasn't apologized. I can see where she was coming from about it just being a car ride. Apparently to her, it was no big deal. That is the frame of mind that crack puts someone in. But seriously, that is when our relationship went sour and she has to know that. I am just waiting for the day she faces it.
This is the hurdle I am trying to get over. I have learned to live our lives separate from my Mom. I have figured out how to keep the boys exposure to her very little - and I have come to terms with the fact that it just has to be that way. Now I better work on dealing with the family and how they handle my Mom. (that is why I don't call grandma, I don't like to hear her say things about Mom - always true - but I don't like it)
By the way, my Dad is also an addict. He is in a sober period right now, but my dh and I have been having some doubts lately. He is very close to a 4 yr sobriety, I hope he hasn't messed it up. He went to rehab (2nd time relapse after Hepititis illness) while I was pregnant. That is when our relationship really began - he wasn't around most of my life b/c of his addiction issues and his ex-wife. He has been there for every moment with my boys. It has been wonderful. Right after I had my 2nd ds, Dad and his gf started coming over every Friday to watch the boys and let us get out. I am not so sure about V, now his wife of 1 1/2 yrs. I like her, but I don't know if she is the right one for my Dad. I have a feeling she is a social drinker and I don't see how he stays sober while he is with her. There have been a few clues, maybe as they occur this blog will be about both of my parents.....
I don't consider myself one to have issues with this topic except for one event that really changed my opinion of my Mom.
About 3 1/2 yrs ago, my Mom was having problems with her depression/anxiety and was not holding down a job. She was filing for disability and I thought it would help her out to have her babysit our son. It was great for us too, financially and the location. That was until a day I will never forget.
I was at work when my cell phone rang and it said Momcell. I answered it and a police officer introduced himself. He stated that he had just arrested my mother for purchasing crack and had my son in the backseat of his vehicle. I would need to come get him ASAP. My baby wasn't even 3 mths old! I melted down and then called my DH and my Dad. My Dad got to the location before I did. The poor DEA officer was so concerned my DS would wake up and he didn't know what to do. When I got there, he told me that my Mom had been arrested the week before for the same thing and why would I leave my son with her. He said next time I would be arrested for child endangerment. I said "Don't worry, there won't be a next time." And there hasn't been since that day.
I had no idea. I blamed my Mom's behavior on her illness. So did she. I didn't realize she was up all hours doing crack. I knew she was arrested the week before, but I was told it was b/c her plates were expired (this was true) and she had a warrant for a bad check (also true) - they failed to tell me the origin of the arrest. I didn't have any reason to think otherwise. I mean seriously, I don't even know a thing about crack - except that it really messes people up! And at that time, I didn't know that G was a liar too.
The reason that I can't get past this is because Mom doesn't acknowledge it. She had the nerve to say to ds shortly after it happened "I don't understand what the deal is. We just went for a car ride." A 9am crack run, I think is what she meant to say. (And why do you say that to an infant - why not to me??) She also said, "The officer was just trying to scare you. You won't get arrested for letting me watch the baby." To this day - she hasn't apologized. I can see where she was coming from about it just being a car ride. Apparently to her, it was no big deal. That is the frame of mind that crack puts someone in. But seriously, that is when our relationship went sour and she has to know that. I am just waiting for the day she faces it.
This is the hurdle I am trying to get over. I have learned to live our lives separate from my Mom. I have figured out how to keep the boys exposure to her very little - and I have come to terms with the fact that it just has to be that way. Now I better work on dealing with the family and how they handle my Mom. (that is why I don't call grandma, I don't like to hear her say things about Mom - always true - but I don't like it)
By the way, my Dad is also an addict. He is in a sober period right now, but my dh and I have been having some doubts lately. He is very close to a 4 yr sobriety, I hope he hasn't messed it up. He went to rehab (2nd time relapse after Hepititis illness) while I was pregnant. That is when our relationship really began - he wasn't around most of my life b/c of his addiction issues and his ex-wife. He has been there for every moment with my boys. It has been wonderful. Right after I had my 2nd ds, Dad and his gf started coming over every Friday to watch the boys and let us get out. I am not so sure about V, now his wife of 1 1/2 yrs. I like her, but I don't know if she is the right one for my Dad. I have a feeling she is a social drinker and I don't see how he stays sober while he is with her. There have been a few clues, maybe as they occur this blog will be about both of my parents.....
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